Traveling Mercies

Quid Pro Quo God

2010-03-29T08:44:00.001-07:00

I read a great article this morning that Don Zank sent me. It talked about a "Quid Pro Quo" God. The idea of "If I do this....God will do this..." Also known as "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours." The article is at http://www.ctlibrary.com/ct/2010/marchweb-only/19-41.0.html It's title is "Love of Unimaginable Proportions."

It's an appropriate thing to ponder this Holy Week. I'm always amazed when I hear the stories of this week. I particularly love Maundy Thursday. Jesus sharing a meal, his last meal, with his disciples. Locked away in a private room. It's such a contrast to the cross and all that happens on Good Friday.

Jesus washes their feet and gives them a new commandment "Love one another as I have loved you." Love, service, sharing meals, forgiveness, sacrifice. How do we do this for one another without getting caught up in that cycle of "Quid Pro Quo"?

May God bless you this week with the ability to accept Grace and let go of a "Quid Pro Quo" image of God.

Prayer for Today

2010-03-02T08:39:00.000-08:00

Prayer for the People of Chile and Asia
by Safiyah Fosua

Terror
Terror
Terrible times!
God of Ages and Generations,
Be with neighbors across the globe,
While it looks like the world is caving in upon itself
And there is nowhere to hide.

Be with Chile
When the aftershocks come without warning
Making mini-missiles of once-harmless things
And any glass that remained falls to join the shards on the ground.
Be with the people of Chile who just suffered one of the worst earthquakes recorded
With the people of Japan and Hawaii and points in between who ran in terror for high ground.

Be with worried relatives and people digging with their hands
As we watch our neighbors search for survivors yet again -- so soon!
Let what we see with our eyes
Move our hearts to compassion,
Our lips to prayer
Our hands to generosity in this time of great need.

Be with us all, O God,
While the earth quakes its discomfort
And mirrors our yearning for your return.
Wrap your arms around Chileans, Asians and Haitians,
People in danger everywhere
People right here.

Remind all of us of your promises
Never to leave us
That we are not forsaken
That our names are carved in the palm of your hand
That we are your beloved.
The earth is quaking.
Things familiar are falling to the ground.
God, be with us all in these
Terror
Terror
Terrible times! Amen.

The "I"s Have It!

2010-01-25T08:09:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for:

Ice: There is a skating rink outside my window, on the south lawn of the church, along with a huge mound of snow. There is no school today for the elementary kids, so the daycare is active. The kids are sliding down the snowbanks and then shooting across the ice! It is so fun to see them. It energizes me and helps me remember the JOY of being a child. And the JOY that we are all children of God. Today I will try to keep a child-like attitude and faith. Not childish, but child-like!

Ice Cream: I know it's close to ice, but how could I NOT be thankful for ice cream?! I love the stuff. I was definitely born with my Grandma Murken's sweet tooth. My dad loves ice cream, too, so I probably also get it from him. He took me out for ice cream every friday night when I was growing up. That was awesome, not just because of the ice cream, but because I got to spend time with my dad. My seminary roomie, Emily, and I would often go for ice cream together too, when we had a bad day or wanted to celebrate something. It is so good to enjoy God's gifts with people that we love!

Italy: For their delicious food, their culture of welcome and family, and their beautiful country. I am so thankful I have had the chance to go there. I loved the landscape and the architecture, and the spirit of the people.

Prayer: Living the Baptism of Christ

2010-01-11T09:42:00.000-08:00

Holy God, before time you named us
Through time you redeem us
You call us, precious in your sight
May we love as you love.

Holy One, through the turbulent waters
Make us steady, your hands
Holding strong the fragile and weak
May we love as you love.

Gracious God, may the fruits of our lives
be food for the hungry, bread
clothing, shelter, fire, water, Word
May we love as you love.

God of justice, remove the chaff
Of our lives that keep us from
Hearing, following, Your call
May we love as you love.

Loving God, take this day our fears our
Worries, distractions, and all
Turn them into wheat, heart food
May we love as you love.
Amen

(from RevGalBlogPals blog)

2009-11-09T09:51:00.001-08:00

Being that my name starts with this letter, it's always been a personal favorite! :)

Home: Okay, truth time. I'm hoping that writing that I'm thankful for my new house will help me feel more thankful for it. Right now, it's a huge stress ball. Just when we think we are done with the info for the mortgage people, we find out we need more!! I know I will love my new house when I get in, but why does it have to be so complicated?! But all that aside, I am thankful to have a place to live with my husband AND my doggie!

Holidays: I'm SO looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas! I love spending time with my family. Plus, it's great to take a break from the pace of everyday life and do something different. And we get to eat delicious foods. Like...

Ham: It's my favorite lunchmeat and holiday main course. MMM!

Gee..

2009-10-26T13:01:00.000-07:00

And we roll on!

Games: One of our wedding presents was a Wii. We played it this weekend, and it was so nice to have some time just devoted to having fun! We got lots of other games that we play together sometimes, and I look forward to playing with friends in our new house in the future.

Gummi Bears: So delicious and chewy :) I also loved the cartoon show- does anyone remember that?

Grace (my congregation and the thing that God gives me!): It is so great to celebrate the reformation each year and to be reminded that Grace is so key to our faith as Lutherans. God is so good. It means so much to me to know that I have God's love even when I fail and don't do what I am aiming to do. Knowing I am forgiven gives me strength to keep trying.

And Grace on 6th Avenue is pretty great, too! I love you all and so does God! I am so glad to be doing God's work and sharing God's word with you each week.

For the love...

2009-10-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

Moving right along...it's a good day to be thankful for things here. Gorgeous leaves, warm temp, sunshine. YAY! So that makes it easy to be thankful for...

FALL: I am soaking up the amazing colors and the last days of leaved trees. God made such a beautiful world. I am in awe of the blazing colors and how they all compliment each other and the blue sky and the green grass. It is a magical time to be outside. Brian and I took Jonah for a walk at Lion's Den park in Grafton on Saturday. It was so fun to walk along the paths, crunching in the leaves and enjoying being outside before we have to bundle up in our snow suits!

FRIENDS: Okay, I know I talked about Emily in the last post. But I got to meet up with her last week on our days off and it was great. Like she said on FB, sometimes you just need to be with one of your dearest friends. And those times seem to be too few and far between for me these days, so I really appreciate it when it happens. To have someone who knows you and you can really be yourself with is such a gift. Thank you God for good friends!

FUZZY SWEATERS: That one might be a stretch for the "F" category, but it is a Monday morning and I'm not quite at full capacity :) But I've been loving lately the chance to snuggle up in some warm clothes. And talk about grateful- what a gift it is to have so many warm things to wear. At this time of year my thoughts always turn to those who don't have warm clothes or places to live, and how I can help them. The sermon yesterday was awesome, and a good reminder that by supporting our church we are a part of great ministries like Lutheran Social Services. If you didn't hear it, you should definitely listen to it. It should be up soon at http://www.gracegrafton.com/podcast/index.htm

EEEEEEEE!!

2009-09-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

Boy is it windy outside! Fall is officially here it seems. I love to see the leaves changing color, but hate to see them fall off...sigh. Not much I can do about that though! I'd better turn my thoughts to gratitude before I get too depressed about the change in scenery.

I am thankful for:

Eric: My brother. He is 12 years older than me, so we have a different relationship than many siblings do. But what is so neat about my brother is that he always has taken an interest in my life, despite our big age gap. He played with me as a kid, he took me to movies, he always made me feel special. One of my favorite memories is going into his room and listening to him play the guitar. He'd always play and sing silly songs to make me laugh. He's a great cook, so intelligent, and a happy, hard working guy. I'm so glad I have him for a brother!

Emily: While I'm on the E-names, I have to give thanks for my wonderful friend. She was my roomate during seminary, and she was the perfect roomie and friend. I have so many good memories with her and I am so glad that we are still good friends.

Energy: To light up our homes. To turn on this computer. To fly planes and drive cars so that we can go visit the people we love. To get out of bed, to walk around, to do work. To enjoy all the blessings that God has given us. To use our talents to serve God and others.

D-Day

2009-09-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

There is much to be thankful for these days! I'll try to contain myself to D, but I am feeling so blessed these days it's gonna be hard!

Dad: My dad is so sweet. As I am at work, he and my mom are loading up a U-Haul with my belongings, moving most of them into storage. The number of times he's helped me move with his bad knee/hip/back...I can't even count! And he says he's glad to do it. He is such a good dad, and I am sooo thankful I have one, because you really have no control over who your parents are. I love him!

Dusk: My favorite time of day I think. I love seeing the sky as the sun sets. It makes me think of people coming home to their families for dinner and of being safe at home. It's a time to look back on the day and thank God for it, or if it's been a bad day- pick through the pieces to find the blessings God squeezes in there.

DVR: Not as profound as the first two on my list, but OH! I do love my DVR. It's a luxury I know, but so worth the 10 bucks a month! With my crazy schedule and my propensity for TV, it helps me keep up with all my favorite shows. It also helps me to NOT watch commercials, which are the devil ;)

I C....

2009-09-09T07:38:00.001-07:00

It's been a little while since my last post, but I was busy getting married :) It was an awesome day and Brian and I loved every second! So I have a lot to be thankful for, but I'll try to keep it in the topic of the day...things that start with C.

Computers: Without them, I wouldn't be able to communicate through this blog! Or Facebook with the High School Kids or my friends, or write my sermons as easily. I know there is some valid criticism of technology and how it's helped move us away from face-to-face interactions, but it's also helped connect us in new ways and to people we might not have been able to get to know. I am thankful for that.

Candy: So delicious! I inherited my Grandma and Dad's sweet tooth. We even had a "candy bar" at our reception as the favor for the guests to take home. It was awesome! If anybody wants some jelly beans, I might have a few hundred left over :)

Coffee! As I type, I am draining the bottom of my cup. And as always, wishing for another.

Christ: He is the one who gives me hope and whose life is an example for me to follow. The older I get, I think the more I love Jesus. I love preaching about him, reading about him and being reminded of how much he loved humanity. We have a good God!

What are you thankful for today?

B is for...

2009-08-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

Today I'm thankful for:

Bananas: Though there is a small window of time when I will enjoy a banana, when I find that window- YUM! Filling, good for me, and a lot of fun to peel :)

Babies: They are adorable and so snuggly. And a lot of fun to make laugh! I am so thankful for all the beautiful babies we have at Grace, and all the beautiful babies my friends are starting to have.

Beaches: I wish I were at one right now...so relaxing. Sunshine, laying down on the sand, swimming, eating yummy food. Now that I think about it, many of the best days of my life and my favorite memories involve days at the beach.

and of course I'm thankful for...

Brian: My very tall and very cute fiance. I feel so incredibly lucky to have such a great man with a good heart in my life. He is a rock and a comfort to me. I can't wait to be married to him and to grow in our love for the rest of our lives.

The ABC's of Gratitude

2009-08-12T08:42:00.001-07:00

Whoa, long time, no post! I knew it had been a while, but...well as you can imagine it's been a crazy summer! Busy at work, busy in life. Weddings are a lot of work for someone who hates details.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to do a gratitude journal. Another blogger I read is doing that, and also because- (confession time) I don't blog sometimes because I'm not sure what to write. There are lots of things on my mind but it's hard to choose. So maybe having a topic will help focus me.

I'll move through the alphabet and blog things I'm thankful for according to the letter of the day. Gratitude journals have always helped my faith...so without further ado:

A:

Annie- My soul sister from way back in those swing choir days I mentioned in my sermon a couple weeks ago. She is a dear friend and an inspiration to me.

Anticipation- It's really more than half the fun. I usually enjoy thinking about my vacations more than I enjoy the actual vacation. Anyone else? There's a healthy dose of anticipation in my life these days, waiting for the wedding. I know it's going to fly by, so I'm trying to enjoy the moments before, too.

Alison- My lovely sister. A great example of faith and love.

Attentiveness- People who have the gift of giving their full attention to someone. Also peole who are attentive to details and catch things that I might miss!

Soo, there's the first letter down! I encourage you to journal/blog along with me and see what blessings you discover!

Summer Time!

2009-06-08T11:52:00.000-07:00

Sort of. It is June 8th but it feels more like April! Summer is slow in coming to us this year.

But the normal benchmarks still come, no matter what the weather- graduation, grilling out, flip flops (which I will continue to wear despite the temperature!), parties, vacations, and summer worship schedule at church.

It is fun (for me) to have everyone worship together during the summer. I bet you see a lot of new faces if you normally only go to one of our Sunday services. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to someone you don't know- I think people are understanding if you don't know their name, especially if they go to a different service. One service on Sunday gives us a chance to meet other Christians that are a part of the Grace family.

Summer at church also means we have more visitors- make them feel welcome and invite them to come back to worship, to join a group you partipate in at Grace, or to a special event coming up. Hospitality is one of our very important jobs as Christians.

Summer is supposed to be a "slow" time, but I bet we can all agree that somehow, it seems busier than the rest of the year! I hope that you will find time though to relax, to be with those you love, and to worship God.

May your summer be safe and joyful!

Above and Beyond

2009-05-20T08:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, I didn't write this...but I think it's great. I read it while preparing for the Ascension Day sermon I'm preaching tomorrow- May 21, 7 pm at St John's in Grafton. I hope this article touches you.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1058/is_10_120/ai_102140725/

Above and beyond
Christian Century , May 17, 2003 by Lawrence Wood

Ascension, May 29 Luke 24:44-53; Acts 1:1-11

JUST LIKE THAT, Jesus is gone. He reappears just long enough to say goodbye. Like a wraith, like a dream, he leaves behind no children, no estate, no writings, no trace of himself except this feeling that his presence was real, that his absence is temporary. Christians have this uncanny feeling that he was just here. He must have just stepped out.

It's a feeling of mixed joy and grief, of doubt and near certainty. The ascension marks the moment when we pass from Jesus' time into our own.

The stories say that he is taken up into heaven--like Elijah--and while we puzzle over the physics of how this happened, we have no trouble understanding it emotionally. We know too much about loss. Loved ones are suddenly taken from us, and the manner in which they go fills us with awe. It is an amazing, dreadful thing. Even though we know that they are going to "a better place," we cannot follow, and have a hard time imagining that we ever will. In the strange days afterward, we have to reconcile feeling bereft with receiving an inheritance.

So the stories about Jesus' ascension are about a Christian attitude toward death. Take away the fantastic circumstances, and here is the hard reality: Jesus is gone. He rose not just from the dead, but right up and out of our world.

Yet we cannot take away the miraculous. In deed, the miracle is the whole point: this ascension, a second Easter, confirms that he is going to heaven. His Jewish disciples see with their own eyes that he is not going to Sheol, the realm below, but to the abode of God. He is alive, so maybe their loved ones are alive; maybe death is not the end of us. As they stand on the earth, the disciples surely can think of others who were just here and might be back soon for those they love.

Luke tells two stories about the ascension. In the first, he says that Jesus walked with the disciples "as far as Bethany," where his friends Mary and Martha lived. According to the Gospel of John, Bethany was also where he raised Lazarus from the dead. So it was a significant place for him--a good place for him to spend his last moments on earth.

Let's read between the lines and imagine that he chose the place of his departure because he wanted to see Mary and Martha one last time. Perhaps they ran to meet him, threw their arms round him, shouted in amazement. Mary probably had no more tears to wet his feet. Perhaps he sat at their table and let Martha wait on him again. All the while, the wondering disciples who had traveled the few miles from Jerusalem saw why he had risen, why he had come back here. Read this way, the Gospel version of the ascension is a love story.

Luke's second account of a departure site is in Acts. Here he doesn't mention Bethany, but says that that Jesus ordered the disciples "not to leave Jerusalem" for Galilee right away, instructions that are different from those in other Gospels. At any rate, this version recalls the ascension of Elijah, and then surpasses it completely.

As Elijah waited for the whirlwind that would take him to heaven, his disciple Elisha asked for "a double portion of his spirit." Sure enough, when Elisha picked up Elijah's mantle, that's what he got--a powerful dose of the Spirit. In similar fashion, Jesus promised his disciples that he would not leave them comfortless, but would give them the Spirit. He meant for them to have an inheritance. And when, in a manner of speaking, they picked up his mantle, that's what they got--a double portion. The Spirit at Pentecost! We can still feel the force of it, whistling around our ears.

This, too, is a love story. A story of how love survives loss. We are not comfortless. We don't worry too much about his absence, in part because his Spirit is so alive and present. He may have risen, but in another sense he remains on the ground. He has become his disciples. They have become him.

Carl VandeGiessen, in his horn-rimmed spectacles and red tennis shoes, remains vivid in my mind. Ten years ago he lost his wife, Ruth, after her long battle with Alzheimer's. Carl had sat at her bedside every day, even in the long years when she hadn't known him. "This is what I took my wedding vows for," he would tell me.

They had met in the Epworth League of the old Methodist Church, raised beagles together, traveled together and maintained the romance of their marriage. When she died during Holy Week, it seemed to unnerve his only daughter. I meant to console him when I said, "Carl, I'm sorry. It's especially hard to lose her this time of year."

"Are you kidding?" he said. "This is the best time for my Ruthie. She's with God now. That's what this week is all about."

Now even Carl has gone--walking confidently in his red shoes to a realm I can only imagine.

Even as the ascension leaves us here, in the modern world, ascension points beyond it. We know little about heaven--not even, really, if it is up there--but we have a lot of hope for our loved ones. We expect to see generations and generations of them, somewhere, in a time that is neither ancient nor modern. Before we were even born, Jesus changed the way we think about the dead. I would like to see Carl again someday, but this world is not the place to seek him, because he is not here. He is risen.

Things Undone

2009-05-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

"We have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done and by what we have left undone."

These words are from the Lutheran Book of Worship confession and forgiveness. I am always struck by the last phrase- "what we have left undone."

That really changed by view of sin a few years ago. Up to that point, I would usually spend the time in church trying to think of ways I had sinned by what I had done- something concrete like lying, jealousy, taking God's name in vain, etc.

But then I realized we also sin by things that we don't do- like standing by while someone is teased or lies are spread, or where justice is denied, or not caring for the least among us as if they were Jesus himself.

There are lots of ways we can do harm, just like there are lots of ways we can do good. Now I tend to think my inaction is just as important as my action in life. This has been much more of a challenge than not doing the sinful actions. It is much easier for me to stand by and watch something happen that I know is wrong than to get in the middle of it and stick myneck out there.

But then I think that Jesus did not just sit back and say nothing. He was out there, doing what needed to be done to bring God's kingdom to earth- healing the sick, telling us about God and bringing us closer to God. In fact, Jesus is the one who faced injustice and his friends sat by and watched. But God still forgave them for that. And God forgives us for things we don't do when we promise we will try not to do them again. The only way I can do that is if I know I have God's help. I pray for that every time I confess, and I pray that we will all have to courage to move from leaving things undone, to doing God's justice in the world.

"He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
Micah 6:8

Resurrection

2009-04-20T08:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at the Adult Education Hour, we talked about the resurrection of Jesus. Because while Easter is over to most people, in the church we still celebrate it for 5 weeks after! And what better thing to talk about than the cornerstone of our faith. Without Jesus resurrection, there isn't much point to what he said or did. His resurrection proved that he was the Son of God.

So as we were talking, it came up how we don't really hear much good news outside of church. People tend to focus on the negative, and you are much more likely to hear about shootings/falling stocks/accidents than you are about the good things that happen each day. So I thought it would be a good idea to think about that, and fitting for the season of Easter!

Here are some good things that have happened to me lately:

Libby, a four-year-old who has been very sick lately, was singing along with the hymns at church on Sunday. It was awesome. She doesn't know the words, but I could hear her just making a joyful noise to the Lord! She also threw her arms around me when she walked out of church. What a gift she is.
I got the financial report from our church treasurer today (we always get one each month). Despite the economy the people of Grace are being extremely faithful in their giving! We are very blessed.
I had the privilege of presiding at Nate Bryan and Rebekah Castro's wedding. Their love was so wonderful to see.

I could go on...I think I'll write one thing each day this week. I encourage you to do the same! God has given us so much to enjoy and appreciate- I hope you can see and celebrate that this Easter season.

Ash Wednesday Sermon: Dusty Secrets

2009-03-05T09:38:00.000-08:00

A few years ago I went to an Ash Wednesday service, just like I had done every year since I can remember. It was not much different than any other typical Ash Wednesday service. So when the time came, I got up to go receive my ashes and to hear the words I had heard every year of my life so far on this day- “Remember that you are dust, and to dust your shall return.”

But that year, as I stood up and waited in the line to kneel before the pastor, something different happened. My knees began to shake. Then I felt like my whole body was shaking. For some reason, that year it hit me: I am going to die.

It’s not like I didn’t know that before, but I don’t think I had really realized that it was true, that it was going to happen to me. It’s not like it was a secret, but it wasn’t anything I had ever really understood. It was shocking and completely terrifying.

When it was my turn to receive the ashes, I knelt down in front of the pastor, a tall and imposing kind of man. He put his hands on my head and they were so big, they almost completely covered it. His hands were a huge weight pushing down on me as I knelt. I felt like I was trapped under the weight, in a cage of his fingers.

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” He smeared the sign of the cross on my forehead with his big, ashy thumb.

I trudged back to my seat with my heart still pounding.

This is how we begin the season of Lent every year- with ashes smeared in the shape of a cross on our foreheads. We remember that we are dust. We look back- all the way back to the beginning- when all there was, was dusty dirt. And God breathed life into that dirt and made Adam, and then Eve from Adam, as the creation story in Genesis 2 tells us. God caused rain to soak the dirt, and God created a beautiful garden for Adam and Eve to live in. Out of the dusty dirt, life was created, watered and sustained.

Well we all know what happened next! Adam and Eve didn’t wait too long before they messed up, and got booted out of this beautiful garden with these words- a reminder from God we still say today- “Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.”

Returning to God is an important theme of Lent. It’s a time to refocus ourselves on God by looking ahead to what is coming. We return to God and look towards Good Friday, facing the cross with him. We return to God to remember that we are dust, and that is how we are going to end up. We return to God to confess our sins, to open up to him about whatever secrets and shame we have been holding that are keeping us from God.

Telling God those secrets is important. But the funny thing is, God already knows our secrets. There is nothing we can hide from God. In the reading from Matthew Chapter 6, we heard Jesus’ instruction not to make a big deal of ourselves in front of others in our giving, our praying or our fasting- because when we do these things in public, others see us and that is our reward. Jesus tells us to do these things in secret- because then only God will see us and he will reward us. The things we do in secret are not hidden from God.

Jesus said, “When you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing…When you pray- go into your room and shut the door…” It is in the secret places where we meet God.

So a natural question is, Then why do we come to church? Why get the ashes on our foreheads for everyone to see? Why don’t we just stay home, locked away in our rooms, confessing our secrets to God and lifting up our prayers where no one else can hear? Isn’t it better for us to keep our secrets between us and God, and not let anyone else know that we have messed up, sometimes so deeply that we can never make it right again?

I know I come because though my room is secret, when I just stay there the weight of my sin and my secrets just keeps closing in on me. I don’t stay in my room because it gets really dusty in there, especially when I use it as a place to bury my secrets as far down in the dirt as I can. I don’t stay in my room because I need to know that though other people may seem perfect to me, they mess up, too, and we stand here and confess this together. I don’t stay in my room because I know there is another room where I can come to be with God and to have the weight of my secrets and my fears lifted.

Tonight this is our room. We gather here together to confess our sins, but to also hear the good news and be reminded of God’s forgiveness. We gather here to remember that though we are all going to die, and though this might cause us great fear, that is not the end of the story. We gather here to face the cross together, looking to our Savior Jesus Christ.

The cross tonight stands in a different place- next to the baptismal font. Both are symbols of death- death to our sinful selves in baptism, death of Jesus on the cross. Both are symbols of life- new life as God’s children in baptism, new life through Jesus’ resurrection on the cross.

Tonight we all wear the sign of the cross on our foreheads- Just as when we were baptized the pastor traced the cross on our foreheads with oil. That mark is harder to see, and both the ashes and the oil are easily washed away. But what never changes is that the one who made us out of dust holds us in his hands from the time we take our first breath to the time we take our last. No matter what our secrets or our fears- and in these uncertain days I know our fears are many- no matter what, our God gives us new life whenever we give our hearts. Where our hearts are torn and broken, God heals them through limitless love.

“Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love.”

It doesn’t matter to God how we look on the outside. What matters to God is what is happening on the inside. God can see our hearts, and that’s what he is concerned about. God doesn’t want us to put on a show for everyone. God doesn’t want us to be looking for rewards in places and people that won’t really give them to us. Instead, God calls us to confess our secrets and to live our lives showing his love quietly. When we practice our piety in secret, the world has no one to thank but God.

And so, having confessed our sins and remembered that God holds us from dust of creation to the dust of death, we prepare ourselves for the meal of thanksgiving- the Eucharist. As you hold the bread, thank God for this piece of forgiveness. As you drink the cup, thank God for the new life it brings.

Because of this gift, we don’t have to fear death. Someday we will be dust, but we are not dust yet. So go from this room tonight quietly. Wipe the messy ashes off your forehead, but not off your heart. Wait for and receive God’s abundant grace and steadfast love. Thank God that out of dust, dirt, and death comes new life. Amen.

It's coming...

2009-02-18T12:28:00.001-08:00

It starts with an "L" and rhymes with "rent."

Yes, that's right, Lent is just around the corner! In one week we will gather together to sing the beautiful Holden Evening Prayer Service. We'll have Grace's famous Potato Soup and ham sandwiches (it's the soup that's famous, not the sandwiches!).

But even more important than the food, we'll come up one by one to have the sign of the cross made on our forehead, just as we did when we were baptized. But this time the oil is mixed with ashes. Ashes are an ancient symbol of repentence. During lent, we focus on repenting from our sins, or turning away from them.

I can think of sins I need to turn away from. Sins that I am scared to turn away from because I do them so often. Sometimes our sins turn into crutches, but really they hold us back instead of helping us move more freely.

So I feel challenged this Lent. I feel a tension between liking myself in my sin, and knowing that God has a better idea. I know that is true. Especially lately, where I have started to feel bogged down by my sins.

Time to turn over a new leaf, to let the weight of sin fall, to remember that I am baptized and THAT is what makes me who I am. Thank you, God, for giving us times to remember that your love is greater than our fears and our sin!

As we prepare for Ash Wednesday, I invite you to think about what is holding you back, dragging you down, and how God can help you change.

Lord of Healing

2009-01-28T09:44:00.000-08:00

Lord of my greatest fear:
Let in your peace.

Lord of my darkest shame:
Let in your grace.

Lord of my oldest grudge:
Let in your forgiveness.

Lord of my deepest anger:
Let in your love.

Lord of my loneliest moment:
Let in your presence.

Lord of my truest self- my all:
Let in your fullness.

~Adapted from a pryer by Alison Pepper, England.

In my most extreme experiences is often when I feel closest to or furthest away from God. When I'm really happy I feel God pouring through my veins. When I am really upset, I cry or yell to God- where are you? But when that happens, I always feel an answer come soon after. After my darkness, my fear, my loneliness, my grudges, my shame- after those times when my true self comes out in it's most vulnerable (and sometimes awful) form, I feel God coming in. I wake up at peace. I wake up and it's a gorgeous, bright sunny day. I feel forgiven. I feel loved. This is how I know God is real.

New Things!

2009-01-12T12:37:00.000-08:00

Behold! I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up, do you not see it?
I am making a way in the desert
And streams in the wasteland.
~Isaiah 43:19

I've been preparing the last couple weeks for a new thing happening at Grace. Tonight is the first meeting of the Caring for Creation team. This is very exciting! How we care for our world is a reflection of our relationship with God. God entrusted us with the big and wonderful job of caring for the world. This is something I've thought a lot about and worked very hard at doing ever since I was a little kid. The first time I went to summer camp the theme was "What did Noah do about trash?" We talked about recycling, composting and spent all day outside in God's beautiful creation. We read the creation stories from Genesis and my heart was moved.

If you've been reading this blog, you've probably noticed that I write quite a bit about things like rain, seasons, and nature in general. I feel a great connection to God through these things. Martin Luther said that God not only wrote the good news in the Bible, but in the trees and the stars. The Bible often uses creation for metaphors and to do God's work- using water in baptism, bread and wine in communion. And there are lots of psalms and passages that talk about creation praising God, in their own way, along with humans.

I am really happy to be able to get this ministry going at Grace with so many willing participants. Of course, it will take the support of the whole congregation to work. But I look forward to growing together at Grace in how we care for God's beautiful world, and growing in our faith in our amazing Creator through this important work. God is doing new things among us every day. Thanks be to God for that!

Before the Marvel of This Night

2008-12-23T11:27:00.001-08:00

Before the marvel of this night, adoring fold your wings and bow,then tear the sky apart with light and with your news the world endow.
Proclaim the birth of Christ and peace, that fear and death and sorrow cease. Sing peace, sing peace, sing gift of peace, sing peace, sing gift of peace.

Awake the sleeping world with song, this is the day the Lord has made, assemble here, celestial throng, in royal splendor come arrayed.
Give earth a glimpse of heavenly bliss, a teasing taste of what they miss. Sing bliss, sing bliss, sing endless bliss, sing bliss, sing endless bliss.

The love that we have always known, our constant joy and endless light, now to the love-less world be shown, now break upon its deathly night.
Into one song compress the love that rules our universe above: Sing love, sing love, sing God is love, sing love, sing God is love.

~Before the Marvel of This Night, WOV 636

I am ready for the gift of peace, for endless bliss, and God's love. Bring your love to this love-less world, tear the sky apart with your light, and proclaim the new day of peace where death and sorrow cease. I await your coming with a sense of urgency like no other. Come Lord Jesus.

Advent Prayer

2008-12-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

I don't know who Margaret Anne Huffman is, but I love this prayer! Especially after seeing Matthew Robert Eippert yesterday, just hours after he was born!

Into the bleakest winters of our souls, Lord, you are tiptoeing on tiny Infant feet to find us and hold our hands. May we drop whatever it is we are so busy about these days to accept this gesture so small that it may get overlooked in our frantic search for something massive and overwhelming. Remind us that it is not you who demands large, lavish celebrations and enormous strobe-lit displays of faith. Rather, you ask only that we have the faith of a mustard seed and the willingness to let a small hand take ours. We are ready. Amen.

~~Margaret Anne Huffman

Free Food!

2008-12-09T12:53:00.000-08:00

Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters;
and you that have no money,come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.
Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food.
Incline your ear, and come to me;
listen, so that you may live.

Seek the LORD while he may be found, call upon him while he is near;
let the wicked forsake their way,and the unrighteous their thoughts;
let them return to the LORD, that he may have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return there until they have watered the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

For you shall go out in joy, and be led back in peace;
the mountains and the hills before you shall burst into song,
and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

Isaiah 55:1-3, 6-12

This passage really touched me today. It is full of the beauty and mystery of God, and full of grace. I really love the part about buying wine and milk without price. Especially when I hear of more people losing their jobs, the stock market being down, and the generally bad economic news that is so common these days.

It is a good reminder that God's love is free.

God's love and God's word are wonderful gifts to us. Gifts that, according to God, won't be wasted. God's word won't return empty, but will accomplish what it is meant to, just as the WORD (Jesus) accomplished what he was meant to do- to bring us to God by becoming human, living, dying, and living again.

If you are thirsty, come to the waters of God's word. Remember the waters of your baptism. If you are bankrupt, financially or spiritually, may these words fill you up with hope, joy and peace. God's thoughts are not our thoughts, and God's ways are not our ways. Thanks be to God for that.

May you see God's riches and blessings in your life today.

Preparing the way

2008-12-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

The branches outside my window are bowed down with snow. Beautiful, clean, white snow. I love to see it on the trees. On the road, it's another story!

Slipping and sliding, long commutes, taking careful steps as we walk on the sidewalk. It's that time again. The last couple of mornings I've been woken by the snow plows and snow blowers, clearing the roads and the sidewalks so that I can get out and about.

The snow makes Christmas seem even closer. We've entered the season of Advent and our theme at Grace is "preparing the way." As the snow is cleared off the road and my usual decorations are cleared to make way for my Christmas decorations, I am thinking about how I am going to clear out my heart this year so that Jesus can have the best spot, with the least clutter.

What are the "slippery" spots in my life? What are the things that "jam it up" so that God isn't able to get through? These are things I will be thinking and praying about today. I hope you will join me in preparing the way for Jesus today and in the days to come.

The Alphabet of Grace

2008-11-18T09:13:00.000-08:00

"You wake up out of the huge crevasses of the night and your dreaming. You get out of bed, wash and dress, eat breakfast, say goodbye and go away never maybe to return for all you know, to work, talk, lust, pray, dawdle and do, and at the end of the day, if your luck holds, you come home again, home again. Then night again. Bed. The little death of sleep, sleep of death. Morning, afternoon, evening- the hours of the day, of any day, of your day and my day. The alphabet of grace. If there is a God who speaks anywhere, surely he speaks here: through waking up and working, through going away and coming back again, through people you read and books you meet, through falling asleep in the dark."
The Alphabet of Grace, Frederick Buechner.

God is hard to understand. Impossible, actually. God doesn't work the way we want. God doesn't make sense. We wonder what God is up to most of the time. How does God listen to all our prayers? How does God love us so much even when we are terrible? What is God really like?

But the alphabet of grace is simple. The way God comes to us is through ordinary things. Bread. Wine. Water. Words. Flesh.

God uses simple things to communicate with us.

Life can seem boring and repetitive. Where is God in all this? God is there in the simple things. Rest. Quiet. Chance conversations or encounters with friends and strangers. God uses the rythyms of life to bring us Grace. How has God brought your Grace in the ordinary things today?

College Tour

2008-11-03T09:10:00.000-08:00

Good Monday Morning to you!

What a beautiful day it is. I can't even say how thankful I am that it is November 3 and the temps will be in the 70s! I am soaking up the warmth, sunshine and colorful leaves, cuz all those things are fading fast.

Last week I, along with a couple of other pastors, took 15 high school students on a tour of ELCA colleges. It was wonderful. The kids were all great as were the schools. It was interesting to see the similarities (good education, caring professors, faith based learning, high value placed on community) and differences of each school. It was also really fun to see the students come alive at various campuses. Each one has a different feel, and it is so important that you can "see" yourself at that school. That is how I felt when I first visited Luther College (www.luther.edu) in Decorah, Iowa. I loved it immediately and couldn't wait for high school to be over from that point on. I cherised every visit back there over my senior year. And being back there last week, I still had that same feeling.

Another interesting thing was how the students attitudes changed toward the schools as we visited them. In the beginning, they were all pretty resistent to going to school "in the middle of nowhere" or "in the middle of a cornfield." But when they got on campus, you couldn't say that the colleges were boring at all. There is so much going on- concerts, parties, groups, sports, worship, speakers...you name it!

Also, one of the benefits of going to a private school is that you have a much higher chance of finishing in 4 years as opposed to 5 or more. There are also tons of scholarships available.

But, like I said, it's all where you can see yourself. I hope that if you know someone who is considering college, you'll encourage them to just visit an ELCA school. They are great ministries of our church.

Night Prayer

2008-10-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

I found this prayer on a blog I go to for clergy. It is a good reminder for all of us to let things go at the end of the day. We are promised a new start, a fresh start each morning. We are made new each day by God through our baptism. We do not have to be perfect, we just have to belong to God and trust in God's grace and love.

I hope you will pray this tonight and let God's peace surround you and renew you as you sleep.

Night Prayer (source The New Zealand Prayer Book)

Lord,
it is night.

The night is for stillness.
Let us be still in the presence of God.

It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done;
what has not been done has not been done;
let it be.

The night is dark;
Let our fears of the darkness of the world and our own lives rest in you.

The night is quiet.
Let the quietness of your peace enfold us,
all dear to us,
and all who have no peace.

The night heralds the dawn.
Let us look expectantly to a new day,
new joys,
new possibilities.

In your name we pray.
Amen.

the body of Christ

2008-10-20T13:36:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness gracious...it's been a long time since my last post! i'm sorry- these first couple months of the "program" year are very busy for us at Grace! i hereby renew my commitment to blogging!

yesterday we talked again about being the body of Christ-and how we all have different gifts and abilities. we are all different but we all belong- in fact we all belong because we are different. as challenging as it is sometimes to live together with all our differences, it is good to read (sometimes OVER and OVER again) 1 Corinthinans 12.

as the church we aim to be Christ's body in the world. we can't say to anyone that we don't need them. we can't think that we are better than anyone else. in fact, we should treat those we may think that we are better than with more honor and respect than anyone. we always should be looking to care for and lift up those among us who are hurting.

during the adult education hour, we talked about what parts of the body we don't lift up enough- people who do work that goes not unnoticed, but unthanked. we talked about rod wilterdink who sharpens all the pencils and takes care of the font (when it's not busted!), AIM ruth and larry scheibach who set up furniture for sunday school and confirmation, jan harpt who waters the plants, and the dartball team when they set up tables for the quilters. there is so much to be done, and when we all work together, it all gets done.

i had the first part of chapter 12 read at my ordination to remind me that everyone has different gifts and talents- that it's not all the job of the pastor to do everything. i have been reminded lately that i really can't do everything (darn it). i am surprised how hard this is for me to accept. but i have to learn to lean back on the rest of the body to do the things i can't do.

so today, take a moment to think about what you are good at, and appreciate yourself! then, think about something you can't do so well on your own, and appreciate whoever helps you with that. and remember- no part of Christ's body can exist on it's own, but together, we come alive.

A question...

2008-09-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

My sermon this week is on what we GET from worship. So I'm wondering...what do you get from worship? What keeps you coming back week after week? I'd love to hear from you! I think it would be great to include some of your responses in the sermon- if that's okay with you! They will be anonymous- I won't announce your name.

Make a comment on this post or just email me at pastorheidi@gracegrafton.com

God bless you all on this beautiful fall day! See you Sunday (or tonight)!

Perspective

2008-09-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

A little perspective for you today from Archbishop Oscar Romero...

It helps, now and then, to step back and take the long view.
The Kingdom is not only beyond our efforts; it is beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is the Lord's work...

Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us. No sermon says all that should be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection. No pastoral visit brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the Church's mission. No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about:
We plant the seeds that will one day grow.
We water seeds already planted knowing they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that affects far beyond our capabilities...

We cannot do everything and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very, very well.

It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the Master Builder and the worker.

We are workers, but not master builders, ministers, not messiahs.

We are prophets of a future that is not our own. Amen.

In the beginning...

2008-09-08T12:27:00.000-07:00

of the educational year at Grace we had 30 people in the High School Youth Group Sunday morning class! Yay!

We've got even more signed up to do the "Generation Change" study for the next 4 weeks. This is the teen version of the "Financial Peace University" class that many adults have done. I am really, really excited about this study for several reasons- it's a very well-done course, it is going to get our high schoolers really involved in youth group, and it uses video, journaling, and other things to engage the kids.

But what I'm most excited about is what it is going to teach them- the dangers and emptiness of materialism, that they have TRUE value to God, the importance of saving and the gifts of giving to others.

God blesses us with so much. Our culture always tries to point us to what we DON'T have, distorting our priorities and our "needs." But the earlier we learn to focus on what we DO have rather than getting swept away in the rat race of materialsim, the better off we are.

Today, take some time to think about your blessings (material and spiritual) and thank God for them. And if you have children, talk to them about being financially responsible because the habits they make for themselves now will carry over into adulthood. It's never too early to start! Fill your offering envelopes together, tell them about the dangers of debt, and make it clear to them that you love them more than all the money in the world. Consider your finances and how they reflect who you are. And don't forget- prayer can help us make "change" (haha...get it!) inside and out.

God be with you and bless you with many kinds of riches!

Happy Things

2008-08-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

Whew! It's been a while! It's been a month full of trips and vacations and planning for next year. But I feel excited about what's coming up and am looking forward to my second year at Grace. Summer has been Wonderful (yes, with a captial W) weather and I am soaking it up as much as I can. This has inspired me to make today's post...

Things that make me happy:

Gorgeous summer days
Worshipping God in a church community and on my own
Talking to my mom and dad
Spending time outside
Taking walks at night
Singing great hymns
Good songs on the radio
The wild raspberries and blueberries we ate in the Boundary Waters
Being with good friends
Praying- especially Lectio Divina style.
Lake Michigan
Good coffee!
Laughing
Jonah

I could go on.

If you heard my recent sermon on lists, I now realize I left something out. It is good to make lists of our blessings, not just lists of what we need or want or have to do. So I encourage you to make a list of the good things in your life. Share it if you want, by leaving a comment to this message. I'd love to hear what makes you happy. May God bless you with many good things.

Mission Trip

2008-07-23T13:02:00.000-07:00

On Saturday I leave for a mission trip to the Boundary Waters with 14 high school students and 2 other adults. I am excited for the trip but anxious about the long drive up there! Keep us in your prayers for safety and lots of fun!

I am really looking forward to spending time with the kids and being in the beautiful setting of the North Shore (on Lake Superior). I've never been there but spending time outdoors always does good for my soul. And being away from our normal, everyday lives somehow makes it easier for us to be open to other people and more honest about what's going on inside ourselves.

I was reading an article the other day that said on our "sabbath" day, we should do the opposite of whatever we normally do. If we are busy, we should not do anything. If we are normally indoors, we should step outside. Sabbath is a break from our daily routines, a change of pace. I hope that the trip to the Boundary Waters will be a good Sabbath for everyone, that even though we will be working hard, we will be refreshed by spending our time doing something different. We spend so much time focusing on ourselves- it can be renewing to focus on others for a bit.

Have you found Sabbath time this summer? What do you do to renew your body and spirit?

Do It Anyway!

2008-07-16T09:53:00.001-07:00

Here are some good words for you today, brought to you by Mother Theresa (probably)...they are a good reminder of why we are here.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered...
forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives...
be kind anyway

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies...
succeed anyway

If you are honest, people may cheat you...
be honest anyway

What you may spend years building, someone may destroy overnight...
build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, people may be jealous...
be happy anyway

The good you do today, may be forgotten tomorrow...
do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough...
give your best anyway

You see, in the end, it's between you and God...
it was never between you and them anyway

Amen.

NOT Coming Up on the 10:00 News...

2008-07-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

As I was thinking about what to blog about today, I started going over what I have been doing lately. Confirmation Camp was the first thing to come to mind. It was such a great week. I was so proud of those 18 kids from Grace. They really committed themselves to the lessons and activities. They learned and supported each other and had fun together.

It's too bad that things like that don't make the news.

There were dozens of counselors and staff at camp that went out of their way to be good Christian examples for all the kids at camp.

Some high school students and adult volunteers met for pizza and a movie a couple weeks ago.

Soon Grace will be filled with many children and volunteers who give many hours of their time to provide the kids with a great vacation bible school experience.

The high school students will be leaving at the end of July for a mission trip to the boundary waters.

I know these things may not seem newsworthy, but to me they are. In a world that can get so caught up in all the bad things that happen, I see so many good things happening, too.

Young teens support each other and grow in their faith together. High Schoolers meet not to cause trouble but to enjoy a night together with people they might not normally hang out with. As college tuition hits the roof, college students earn pennies for 3 months to make a difference in the lives of others, instead of working a less rewarding job for more money. People of all ages give their time to help children learn about God and have a great time doing it.

Where do you see good in the world? Write a comment and let me know.

"Whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple- truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward." ~Matthew 10:42

Monday Five...Reader's Theatre Edition

2008-06-30T07:42:00.000-07:00

1)Do you think of summer as a particularly good season for reading?
Yes and no. I do love to lay on a lounge chair in the shade and read a good book. Or better yet, by a body of water: lake, ocean, pool...i'm not particular. But summer is also a good time to be out and about- going to parties, fests, and just enjoying the good weather by being active.

2) Have you ever fallen asleep reading on the beach?
I really am not one for falling asleep in public places. I never was able to sleep during class at school. Too embarrassing. What if I snore or drool or something?

3) Can you recall a favorite childhood book read in the summertime?
Hmm...I think I read the boxcar children books in the summer. I loved those! I thought it would be so cool to live like that. Other favorite books were the Little House on the Prairie series, Wind in the Willows, Angelina Ballerina, and A Wrinkle in Time. I was quite a reader when I was young. I wish I read more now, but I think I need a break from reading after 8 years of college and seminary!

4) Do you have a favorite genre for light or relaxing reading?
Oh, definitely things that take my mind off "real" life. I really like Jennifer Weiner ("In Her Shoes") and the Harry Potter series.

5) What is the next book on your reading list?
Well, I have VOWED to finish Parker Palmer's "A Hidden Wholeness" before I start anything else! But my next FUN book would probably be another Jennifer Weiner book or the first James Patterson mystery book that AIM Ruth lent to me. I got into mysteries for a while in High School so I think it would be fun to pick that up again.

What do you all like to read? What are some of your favorites?

I'd like a table for 945,874, 291,385,257...and counting

2008-06-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that I love communion. I think it is one of God's miracles. To think that Jesus is present for us so easily in this way, and that he is present for all people who come to his table, is beyond understanding. But I know that it's true because I have felt him there. When I eat that flimsy little wafer (or more preferrably, that little tasty piece of bread) and I take a sip of wine, I know that God is with me. I can feel myself change on the inside.

Another thing that I love about communion is that it connects us to ALL other Christians. Christians in Grafton and Cedarburg, in Michigan, Connecticut, Brazil, Tanzania, Nicaragua, India...we are connected to Christians everywhere, all over the world, when we eat and drink at this table. We eat with young and old, black and white, republican and democrat...the list goes on and on. At God's table, we are even connected with those who are sharing the eternal feast with Christ in Heaven. That can be some comfort to know that those we miss so much are with us when we eat this meal.

Sometimes when I take communion I think about the people who have meant so much to me on my faith journey. I think about the congregation where I grew up in Lockport, IL, about my internship congregation in Saint Louis, about my "Soul Sister" friends from camp, my old pastors and professors who helped shape my faith, and of course, my mom and dad. It strengthens me to know that I am "surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1). We can cheer each other on as we run together toward Jesus, "the pioneer and perfecter of our faith." Thanks be to God for this gift of communion through time and space!

Something Fun

2008-06-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

1. what are 2 names you go by? heidi and pastor heidi (wow how interesting!)

2. name 2 things you are wearing:a black blazer and a khaki skirt (yawn again!)

3. 2 of my favorite things: my grandma murken's ring and my bed

4. 2 things i want very badly...a prius and more time in each day

5. 2 favorite pets...of course jonah. the other would be my dog growing up- a miniature schnauzer, alex. i wanted to name him abecrombie but my mom talked me out of it.

6. 2 people i'd like to see on my doorstep...my best friend kelly and steph or any of my sistern friends from seminary

7. 2 things i did last night...went to meetings at church and for a nice walk with brian and jonah.

8. 2 things i've eaten recently...pad thai and a yummy muffin (thanks lisa!)

9. favorite beverages: mmm...iced americanos with cream and i do love coca-cola, though I don't indulge in it very often.

10. 2 things on tomorrow's agenda: drive to chicago to visit friends and go to all my favorite places in my old neighborhood. (thank GOD my life has gotten more interesting though the course of this survey!)

11. what are 2 of the furthest trips in the last 5 years? nicaragua and to holden village in washington.

12. 2 favorite holidays: christmas- i love, love, love me some baby jesus- and thanksgiving- i love turkey and spending a great day with my great family.

The (Almost) Summer Day

2008-05-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

Oh...it is so beautiful outside. I can hardly believe sometimes how lovely nature can be.

It made me remember one of my favorite poems, "The Summer Day" by Mary Oliver. At the end she asks a question "What will you do with your one wild and precious life?" So...? How will you answer that question today?

Last night we did Lectio Divina (reading a scripture through 3 times, each time listening for something different the Spirit is saying to us). I love this time. It's holy. And last night we read Psalm 27, which is FILLED with words that are true and beautiful..."The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?...I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." As I sat and heard these words over and over again, I could still feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. We can pray in so many ways. I just had to share these with you.

The Summer Day
Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Psalm 27
1The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
2When evildoers assail me to devour my flesh— my adversaries and foes— they shall stumble and fall.
3Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident.
4One thing I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.
5For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will set me high on a rock.
6Now my head is lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord.
7Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud, be gracious to me and answer me!
8“Come,” my heart says, “seek his face!” Your face, Lord, do I seek.
9Do not hide your face from me. Do not turn your servant away in anger, you who have been my help. Do not cast me off, do not forsake me, O God of my salvation!
10If my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up.
11Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies.
12Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen against me, and they are breathing out violence.
13I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

more lunch-time spying

2008-05-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

Well most of the buds are leaves now! It is beautiful outside. I can hardly remember what winter felt like, and I don't want to for several months!

Today I was talking to Dick Duncombe, who is preaching on Thursday, May 29 when Pastor Paul, AIM Ruth and I are at the synod assembly. He is working on a sermon that talks about what we do when we are NOT in church. You know, it's easy to think if we go to church for an hour a week that is all we need to do to be a good person. But how we act the rest of the time is also important!

I went to Fiddlehead's in Cedarburg for lunch today (it's Monday, gotta eat good food so I can have a good week...right?!). In keeping with my Christmas eve sermon illustration (when I was at Panera) I will tell you what I observed. A couple of couples came in for lunch. The men went and sat down and barked at their wives while the women stood in line, ordered lunch, got napkins, cups, etc. Ugh. Not very nice. At one point one of the women said she had to use the restroom. "You can go" her husband replied. Weird. Does she need his permission?? It was all very strange.

Anyway, it just struck me how our behavior can affect other people, even when we think they are not watching. I know I have the occassional bad day, but this all got me thinking about what kind of impression I want to leave on others. Sometimes as a pastor I feel like eyes are on me all the time (even on my days off) and I don't always like that feeling. But the truth is, whether we are pastors or not we should be treating others kindly whether they are wife or strangers.

Didn't the bible say that we can entertain angels without knowing it? How would our daily lives change if we treated everyone as if they contained a piece of God and heaven within them?

Buds

2008-05-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

They're here! The buds on the trees!

These are some of my favorite days of the year. All of a sudden, our world changes!

When I got to work this morning, I noticed that the tree outside my window has buds. Then when I drove home for lunch I noticed that ALL the trees on 6th avenue are budding. Now, so fast, the leaves will grow and we'll enter the green season.

It is so nice out I decided to eat lunch on my porch. It was awesome. The sun was headed over to the other side of my building but there was a little sliver of light shining onto my deck chair. I put my feet in it and ate and pet Jonah and read. It was wonderful. It reminded me of what I really need in life.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow created a hierarchy of needs for humans. It's organized into a pyramid, with the most basic needs on the bottom. If those needs are not met, a person can't reach the goal of self-actualization. I don't remember all the details about what it means to be self-actualized, but I do remember hearing that a self-actualized person is not affected by the weather. If that's what it means to be self-actualized, then I don't think I want to be!

God made a beautiful world. Even though I am so glad the long, cold winter is over, I am thankful that we live in a climate that changes. It makes the spring so sweet! It reminds me that life is full of cycles. Sometimes things are green and growing. Sometimes things are barren. But they always come back around, and the Spirit (breath, wind) of God is always moving in us and blowing us on to new things.

Sabbath

2008-04-30T12:02:00.000-07:00

"Self-care is never a selfish act- it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others."
~ Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak, pg. 49-50.

Well I did take some time off- these past two days. It was lovely because I didn't do much. I am always surprised at how tired I feel on those days- when I let my body catch up with herself and not force her to run at a crazy pace.

One thing I did was spend a lot of time with my dog, Jonah, pictured above. I walked him, played with him, snuggled him, and just looked at him (i think he is very cute and nice to look at!). If you didn't know this about me before, I really love my dog! Up until I started at Grace I got to spend a lot of time with him each day, and I've really missed that. It was so great to be with him. He is a place where I get renewed. When I come home, he is usually curled up in his bed or on the couch, and I go over to him and lay/kneel down beside him. I immediately feel so much better just being with him. He is a reminder to me of God's love and presence in my life. Sometimes he will jump up on the couch and lay right on top of my laptop as if to say "HEY! Put that thing away and give me some love!" Sometimes he'll bark at me until I get up and play with him, feed him, or just come down to his level. Sometimes I need to be barked at to remember to pay attention to Jonah or to God.

Another thing I did was go for a long walk with Brian over to Lime Kiln Park. We stood by the raging river and watched it go by, getting dizzy concentrating on the rushing water. We noticed all kinds of things around the banks- different trees, the way the water flowed and swirled in places. It felt so good to just lose myself in it. Nature is so refreshing and a great reminder for me of who God is and who I am in this world. There is much to learn and much to appreciate just by being still in nature. For our Grafton Clergy book study this year we are reading Leaving Church, by Barbara Brown Taylor (one of my favorite authors). I read this yesterday and it was exactly how I felt standing at the rivers edge:

"How long do you think this river has been here?" I asked Ed..."Forever, I guess," he said at last. If I softened my gaze and stopped holding myself apart from all that surrounded me I became part of something so old and so powerfully alive that I lost track of my self. The river ran through me. Trees breathed for me. My feet grew from rock. (85)

She also writes, "I know plenty of people who find God most reliably in books, in buidlings, and even in other people. I have found God in all of these places too, but the most reliable meeting place for me has always been creation. Since I first became aware of the Divine Presence in that lit-up field in Kansas, I have always known where to go when my own flame is guttering. To lie with my back flat on the fragrant ground is to receive a transfusion of the same power that makes the green blade rise." (80)

I guess our sabbath times and places can be closer than we think.

Monday, Monday

2008-04-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

Here it is...Monday! Most pastors take Mondays as their days off. Not me- I take Friday. This is partly because I like to have more time to work on my sermon before Thursday evening worship, and partly because I like having Fridays off! It means that sometimes I kind of get a weekend.

However, it means that I work Monday. And I'm beginning to understand why many pastors take Monday off. I'm tired after Sunday, especially after a Sunday like yesterday where I started working at 7 am and didn't finish until 8 pm. No joke. Pastors have strange schedules.

But I do think that we aren't any different than anyone else in that there just never seems to be enough time in the day or week. Can I get an Amen? (I was at All People's in Milwaukee yesterday! I love this- I might start using it in my sermons so look out!!!)

There are so many things vying for our attention, scattering us into many directions, asking that we be in 3 places at once. It's hard to find breathing space. It's hard to focus on what gives us life.

How do you find your breathing space? Do you find it?

monday five...moving on

2008-04-14T09:55:00.000-07:00

1. How many times have you moved?
Oh my goodness...too many to count. When my parents were here last weekend we were looking through one of my baby photo albums...ONE album took me through 4 different houses. Eee gad. Then there was college and seminary....college: 10 moves. Seminary: 4. I also moved in with the family I nannied for. I also moved to Grafton. I hope and pray that I am DONE with moving for a good, long while.

2. What do you love and hate about moving?
I love meeting new people. I hate how long it takes to get settled...to get my things in the best place. I hate feeling like a foreigner. I hate not knowing how to get places and what the shortcuts are. I hate leaving friends behind.

3. Do you do it yourself or hire movers?
Ha, funny you should ask. I have always been a do-it-myself-with-the-help-of-family-and-friends kind of person. However, my dad is getting up there and, well, you've seen how many times I've moved! So when I was moving up to Grafton, I decided to hire movers. I felt so lucky and was sooo excited. Unfortunately, they didn't show up, causing me to say many words that I can't put in this blog. But I am blessed with some great friends and a great brother and sister-in-law who came to my rescue, helping me rent and load a U-Haul. My parents drove down from Northern Wisconsin to Chicago to help drive up here. And then lots of lovely people from Grace came to help me unload. Blessings out of a situation that at first seemed very un-blessing like!

4. Advice for surviving and thriving during a move?
Don't use "Reliance Relocation" movers.

5. Are you in the middle of any inner moves, if not outer ones?
I always feel like I'm in the middle of an inner move. Life is always changing and we are always coming from one place, heading towards another. I am always learning and growing and thinking about what the future may bring, and what I can do today to best prepare myself for it. This is not always a good thing. I need to remind myself from time to time to relax and just be. To trust God and not to think so much about everything.

Anniversaries...

2008-04-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

Since I moved here, I have been thinking a lot about what my life was like a year ago. When I started at Grace in mid-July 2007, a year before that I was wrapping up my internship in campus ministry in Saint Louis, a job and place I dearly loved. Then it was back to seminary in August 2006, beginning what I like to call the year of Advent...waiting...to graduate and begin ministry as a Pastor.

As we entered the church season of Advent this past December, I was thinking about how in December 2006 I had just completed many long and detailed forms describing who I was as a person and as a pastor. Those were the forms that would be sent to prospective congregations (which turned out to be Grace!). When I finished them I had no idea who would be reading them and where they would be reading them.

While we were in the midst of Lent this February and March, I passed the year anniversary of being assigned to ministry in the areas of either Illinois, Iowa, or Wisconsin. Then I found out I was assigned to the Greater Milwaukee Synod, and the weight of uncertainty I'd been carrying all year began to lift.

Then on April 6, 2007 (a year ago this past Sunday), I made my first trip up to Grafton. I met Pastor Paul, Karen, and Sue. I got a tour of Grace and Grafton/Cedarburg. And to think- exactly one year after that I was standing in the pulpit and preaching.

All this is to say that we never know where God is taking us. We can't predict the future, no matter how hard we try. We don't know what is going to happen. But looking back on my life always helps calm my questions and anxieties about what's coming. God has brought me along this far- what would make me think that God would abandon me now? Even though God is with us all the time, somehow it's easier to see God looking back than in the moment or looking forward.

As I was writing this, this song came on my iPod which I thought was appropriate:
"You should know wherever you go, if your head's in the clouds or you're stuck on the ground, you have my committment, whatever I can do, there will always be room in my heart for you. You should know wherever you go, I'll be waiting here...You should know wherever you go, anytime of the day and reason at all, you have my word, whatever I can do. There will always be room in my heart. You should know, wherever you go...there will always be room in my heart for you. "
~"Room in My Heart", Storyhill.

Where were you a year ago? How was God working in your life?

Water, Water, Everywhere

2008-03-31T08:11:00.000-07:00

"It rattles softly at the window like the fingers of a child as I sit on the edge of the tub to tie my shoes. It comes down the glass in crooked paths to stir my heart absurdly as it always has, and dear God in Heaven, the sound of it on the roof...It is the rain, and it tastes of silver; it is the rain, and it smells of christening."
~Frederick Buechner, The Alphabet of Grace.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night. I was having terrible dreams. In one dream I waded through drifts of snow trying to keep my house safe from intruders, and in another I was floating at sea on a deflating raft. When I woke up, I could hear the rain falling outside my window. It soothed me back to sleep.

I love the sound of rain. I love what rain does for the world- cleaning it, making it greener, helping it produce food. It reminds me of my baptism. I imagine it as God's grace, tapping on my roof, soaking through my clothes, trying to get to me to wash me clean.

One of my favorite memories is going downtown with my friends every summer to go to the Taste of Chicago. We joined millions of people feasting in the streets. One year, the sky was dark and low with rain clouds. And then suddenly they opened and drenched us all. It was so much fun, and when I got home, I felt cleaner and fresher than I ever had before or since.

Another powerful memory is when I came home from college one April to go to my Uncle Ken's funeral. He was my dad's brother, and a very beloved uncle and godfather. My dad and I sat together in a dark room and cried, and we listened to the rain pounding on the roof. I thought of it as God crying with us.

It's a gray day today, but I don't mind. In fact I feel so good, I didn't even need coffee this morning! The rain is washing away all the dullness of winter, soaking into the ground to help make it green. It is melting away the heavy drifts of snow. There are flowers blooming outside my window, with more promising to come soon!

In these changing days of spring, I am feeling so connected to the resurrection of Jesus. The tomb is empty, the stone rolled away. "He is not here, he has been risen" say the angels in Luke's gospel (24:5). Life follows death. Spring follows winter. Light comes into our darkness. I pray that you will find hope in Christ through God's word and through the reminders of resurrection God gives us in creation. Christ is risen. Alleluia!

Words and Wisdom

2008-03-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

"When they bring you to trial and hand you over, do not worry beforehand about what you are to say; but say whatever is given you at that time, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit." Mark 13:11

"For I will give you words and a wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to withstand or contradict." Luke 21:15

Words like these are what helped finally make up my mind. I had been thinking about being a pastor for many years, but I thought "Who am I to speak God's word to these people? Who am I to stand up in front of them every week and talk? Why would they listen?"

But then at a gathering of young people "considering" seminary in Nashville one June, I heard pastor and highly respected theologian Walter Bruggeman preach on these words. I realized, it is not ME that would be speaking and leading as a pastor, but God through me. If that is the case, I thought, then I can do this.

Jesus speaks these words to his disciples shortly before his betrayal and arrest. As Pastor Paul reminded us on Sunday Jesus knew these things were coming. He knew it was going to be a bumpy road (not that it had really been all that smooth for him and his disciples so far) and that he would no longer be there to lead them and try to tell them where they were going wrong. So he promises to give them the words they will need.

I have started to joke with people that I am changing my job description to "Person who says I don't know." It's true, there's a lot to learn about Grace, God, and life! We are always disciples. I don't claim to have all the answers. This can be hard sometimes as I WANT to have answers for some of the questions people ask me about life and faith.

But I always fall back on these texts. God will give me what I need. As long as I remember to pray and believe, I have to trust that the words that come from my mouth are what God wants me to say. I have to trust that God will come to each of you to give you the words and the wisdom that you need. It doesn't always happen when we want it to. But as Luke goes on to say in chapter 21, "Not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your souls."

May God be with us, giving us the right words and the trust that our endurance will bring us through into God's glory.

I'm still here...

2008-03-12T09:53:00.001-07:00

Hello!

Just a quick note to say I have not forgotten about my blog! Nicaragua and coming back to Lent/Holy Week has taken up a great deal of time lately. I will write about Nicaragua as soon as I can. In the meantime, I am loving the busy-ness of this season. I love seeing you at the Wednesday Lenten meals and worship. I have always loved this because it makes me feel like we are a family, getting together for dinner at the end of the day. The worship at Grace has been really enjoyable for me too- I love Holden Evening Prayer and having the confirmation students involved in worship (particularly the great skits!) has been a joy.

There is so much going on at Grace, and at times our schedules and "to do" lists get pretty hairy. But I am so thankful for this (okay, today I'm thankful, but sometimes it makes me want to take a nap). We are so blessed to have a vibrant, faithful, growing congregation. And I am blessed to have the Holy Spirit (who often comes to me through my Americanos from Alterra) to help me minister. God bless your Lenten journey!

Friday Five: Baptism

2008-02-18T08:46:00.000-08:00

As I have done before, I will blog on the 5 questions posted on a great blog- RevGalBlogPals. I don't work on Fridays, so here is the Friday Five on Monday :)

Friday Five: The Water and the Word
In last Sunday's gospel Nicodemus asks Jesus, "How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother's womb and be born?" Poor old Nicodemus! He was so confused about the whole "water and Spirit" business of baptism.

For today's five, tell us about your baptismal experiences.

When and where were you baptized? Do you remember it? Know any interesting tidbits?
I was baptized on October 19, 1980 at Grace Lutheran Church in Muscatine, Iowa. I definitely don't remember it. I wish I did.

What's the most unexpected thing you've ever witnessed at a baptism?
Hmm...I'm sure the answer to this question will get more interesting as my years of ministry accumulate, but so far I'd say I was pretty surprised when the last baby I baptized started to fall asleep as I poured the water on his head!

Does your congregation have any special traditions surrounding baptisms?
Yes, they make a banner for the baby with his/her name on it and sing a special song.

Are you a godparent or baptismal sponsor? Have a story to tell?
I am a proud godparent of two beautiful Christian girls. My cousin Sarah, who is a SENIOR in high school and an amazing young woman, and my niece Mirella, a sassy 5 year-old. I love them both so much and am honored to be an example and teacher of faith to them.

Do you have a favorite baptismal song or hymn?
There's a really pretty song we sing at Grace at the contemporary service, but I don't know the name of it. It will get your tears going if you're not careful!

Baptism is such an important part of my life. I think about it almost daily. It gives me hope. At seminary, we had a very awesome baptismal font. It flowed down like a waterfall into a pool you could walk though. Some of my favorite worship experiences were when the whole community would take off their shoes and walk through the font. It was very moving. I love the flowing baptismal font at Grace, which we took time to listen to on Sunday morning. This Lent, may we all take time to listed to those waters and to what God is saying to us through them.

Car Talk

2008-02-11T08:49:00.000-08:00

I used to brag about my car. Not because it's fancy- it's a '96 Honda after all! Because it was reliable. It ran smoothly for 4 years of seminary, hardly having any problems besides routine maintenance, despite having well over 100,000 miles on it. This was great. I felt safe in my car. Two of my other friends at seminary had almost exactly the same car. We all loved our Hondas. We named them "Earl", "Wanda", and "Marianne." If you get this, I hope you find it funny :) Think: Dixie Chics.

My parents, being wonderful and generous people, helped me through seminary by paying for Marianne's maintenance. So I knew, even if something went wrong, Marianne and I were taken care of. It's like having the security of 100% n0-deductible health insurance...but for a car :)

Well once I graduated and got a job, that insurance was terminated. But why would I be worried? Marianne was old, but healthy. She was strong and dependable.

Was...Was.

Since moving to Grafton, Marianne just hasn't been the same. Maybe she misses the city. The move has been hard on her. Because she keeps getting sick...passing out on I-94, making her mark on Grafton by leaking oil all over, her distributor stopped distributing, her exhaust system got exhausted, and now even in this bitter cold weather she gets too hot because her radiator isn't so radiant anymore.

I was in deep in thought this weekend. What to do? Get a new car? Pay for the increasing repairs and hope they stop soon? I started to go a little crazy thinking about what to do, looking for a possible new (used) car online, hoping I'd find some way to pay for it. If there was a sign above my head it would have read "WOE is me!"

Then I remembered prayer. So I prayed- "God, what do I do?" And, as often happens with prayer, God didn't answer my question, but opened my eyes. I looked up. I saw my beautiful home. I saw clothes hanging in my closet. I felt the warmth of the air from my furnace. And most importantly, I realized that my body (while suffering from a bad cold) was actually incredibly healthy. I remembered that I had steady employment. I had faith.

You know, there always seems to be something wrong. But there is always at least one thing that is right. Remember that phrase "When God closes a door, he opens a window"? There is always something new coming. Lots of doors may close, lots of things may break down (including our own bodies), but somewhere in our darkness comes the light of Christ. In the bitter cold of winter, there is a beautiful sunrise and sunlight shining on the snow. Marianne may be in bad shape, but she could be much worse. Her days may be numbered, but so are mine! Nothing lasts forever except God's love.

2008-01-30T08:40:00.000-08:00

Five Fun Questions:
1. What is the thermometer reading at your house this morning?
i don't want to know.

2. Snow—love it or hate it?
ah, the famous question! I don't mind snow, it can be pretty. I do start to get sick of it around this time of year. It also helps that I live in a condo and I don't have to shovel!

3. What is winter like where you are?
F-R-E-E-Z-I-N-G. actually about 40 degrees below freezing.

4. Do you like winter sports? Any good stories?
do i like any sports, really?

5. What is your favorite season, and why?
that is a hard one! there are things i really like about all the seasons. but lately i've become a summer girl. good weather to be outside, lots of sun, my birthday, greeness, flowers, fruits and veggies, festivals...you can't beat it!

I read from Anne Lamott's newest book "Grace (Eventually)" for my devotions this morning. This quote stuck out at me: "When I asked Father Tom where we find God in this present darkness, he said that God is in creation and to get outdoors as much as you can." I find God's peace so much in creation, and that makes this frigid weather hard for me because I can't be outside as much. But spring is coming...closer each day!

Bonus: Share a favorite winter pick-me-up. A recipe, an activity, or whatever.
Hmm...having tea or hot chocolate with my mom and dad!

RETREAT!

2008-01-18T13:50:00.000-08:00

Tonight I leave with the 9th Graders for their confirmation retreat at Pine Lake Bible Camp. This is one of the highlights of their 3 years of confirmation (hopefully they agree with me!). I am SO excited. Pastor Paul and AIM Ruth have put together some amazing exercises and sessions to help these youngsters to really grow in their faith and claim it as their own. I am so excited for them and can't wait to see and hear what they say.

This has been making me think back to my confirmation. It was one of the most meaningful days of my life. I think it was at my Affirmation of Baptism that I really felt called by God. I didn't know to what yet, but I think when my pastor, parents, and sponsors laid their hands on me, God came to me in a way that I had never experienced before.

I pray that our 9th Graders will also feel God's presence in them this weekend and in May when they make a public confession of their faith and intent for their lives.

Do you remember your confirmation? What was it like for you? When are times you have felt called by God to do something?

Stephen Leader Training Report!

2008-01-16T12:50:00.000-08:00

It was an exhausting but enriching week. I learned more about Stephen Ministry and am even more thrilled with our program here at Grace. In the sessions, they gave LOTS of examples of what to do and what not to do. Grace's leaders and Stephen Ministers do an excellent job- I found myself having to refrain from bragging :)

Sadly, I did not see Stephen Orlando last week! But I did meet a lot of wonderful, caring people. I was amazed at how many people (over 400) gave up a week of their time to learn how to equip others to do caring ministry. And this week is only the beginning for so many of them, who now have returned home with a BIG task ahead of them. And all out of their love for Jesus Christ.

Jesus is the center of this ministry. He is why we do Stephen Ministry. We walk with others because he came to walk with us, to be with us in suffering, and to suffer himself. But he also came to heal, to rise from the dead, and to give us hope. One mantra of Stephen Ministry is "Jesus is the curegiver, we are the caregivers."

I pray that you will be open to having a Stephen Minister if you ever need one. If you are mourning, going through a sickness, loss of job, divorce, trouble with family, or are hurting in some way, please let a pastor or Stephen Leader know if you'd like a Stephen Minister. They listen, pray, and walk with you as needed. If you are curious to learn more about what this means, also feel free to ask. We don't bite! :)

May God the curegiver bless our Stephen Ministry program!

A journey to Stephen Orlando's homeland...

2008-01-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

Next week I will be at Stephen Ministry training in Orlando, Florida. Yes, that's right...your pastor makes HUGE sacrifices for you! :)

All kidding aside, I anticipate this being an intense and enriching experience. I have shared with some of you that my mom was trained as a Stephen Leader. She left for 2 weeks (they have since shortened the training) when I was 14. It was really hard for me to have her gone for so long, and I ended up spraining my ankle while she was away. I could hardly wait for her to get home!

When the day finally arrived, I was so excited and so was she- but for a different reason. She walked in the door a different woman than when she had left. She was on fire in a way I had never seen her before. She talked and talked about the new ministry, what she had learned, and how amazing the program was. It really made an impression on me about how important sharing Christ's love with others was for her. Parents- take note!

When I learned that Grace had a Stephen Ministry program, I was thrilled! Caring for each other in a Christian way is certainly not only up to the pastor, though it is a part of my job I love. God has gifted so many of you with that ability as well. Thank you to all who make time for this. Also, to allow ourselves to receive care from another is hard for us. I pray that when you need it, you allow the hands of a Stephen Minister to reach out to you.

As many of us are aware, our brother in Christ Ray Johnson died this week. Ray was a Stephen Minister, one who shared Christ's love through this ministry and made all those around him smile with his sharp sense of humor. He will be missed!

I will be praying for you all this week and thinking about how I can better serve you. Please pray for me as I travel and learn about Stephen Ministry.

God's peace be with you!

Christmas Eve Sermon: Luke 2:1-20, Isaiah 9:2-7

2007-12-31T08:32:00.000-08:00

Last week on my day off, I decided to go to Panera for lunch. It was one of those foggy, gray days we've been having lately. I was lounging on my couch, but I managed to drag myself off of it and make myself presentable to the public. I had slept in, I was kind of groggy- to match the weather- and it took me a while to get going.

When I finally made it to Panera, it was late and I was hungry. I was glad to see there wasn't a very long line. I took my place and waited for my turn. The line formed to the right of the cash register, and soon a couple came in from the left. They moved as if they were about to stride right up to the counter and order, when the woman turned to me and said, “Are you waiting in line?”

“Yes” I said- relieved that she asked and didn’t cut, “I'm waiting.” She stood behind me but her husband didn't move from the counter. “I'm waiting” I said again, this time more in his direction. Still he didn't move. I thought, he must be hard of hearing. So I raised my voice, probably a little higher than I normally would...”I'M WAITING!”

He whipped around and gave me a horrible, angry look. “What are you waiting FOR?” he sneered, also a bit too loudly. Whoa.

It's moments like this I want to do 2 things. Now I know that I'm short and sweet and people would not describe me as “physically intimidating.” But, I AM from Chicago after all, and I have no problem sticking up for myself when I need to. So, in times like this, I'd like to go “Chicago” on him and tell him just what I think of his rudeness. He may be from Mequon, but I’m from the South Side!

The other thing I would have liked to do is tell him he was just mean to a pastor :)

But I didn’t do either. The woman in line in front of me said I could go ahead of her because she didn’t know what she wanted yet (yeah, that’s right, I wasn't even next in line) so I stepped up and ordered, fighting back tears.

Finally, I sat down to eat my lunch, and his words kept running through my mind. “What are you waiting FOR?” After a while I calmed down and the words started to lose their edge, and I started to think, “What AM I waiting for?” An appropriate question for Advent, don't you think? Advent, the time when we are waiting and preparing for the birth of Christ.

In the church, we take 4 weeks to wait for the birth of Christ. We light candles to symbolize the light coming into our darkness. We decorate with evergreens to show the undying nature of God's promises and love. The color of the pastors stoles and the paraments, the cloths hanging off the altar, are a deep blue to symbolize the color of the sky just before the dawn.

At home, we decorate our evergreen trees as well. We wrap presents and place them underneath the tree and wait in delicious anticipation to open them. What is inside? Is it the iPod, or necklace, or toy, or video game we are hoping for? Soon those questions will be answered.

But I wait for more than just presents, don't you? I wait for a world in which there is no more pain. I wait for a world in which mourning and crying and death will be no more. I wait for an end to war. I wait for a cure for cancer and AIDS and multiple sclerosis. I wait for a time when I don't worry about people not taking me as seriously because I am a woman. I wait for an end to racism. What do you wait for?

For the past four years when I was in seminary, it seemed like all I was doing was waiting. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun and I soaked up the rich experience of studying and preparing to be a pastor. But in the moments I had last July when I was ordained and called to be your pastor, the waiting was over. It was like finally- I could do what I had been waiting to do for four years, or 27 years since I was born. I have been waiting to stand here and share with you the good news of great joy that this world so desperately needs to hear.

Because outside these doors, there is a lot of pain. There is a lot of loneliness. I don't really need to remind you of that, do I? I know that we bring that pain in here with us. But in this place we experience something different- we hear of good news of great joy, but we also do more than just hear about it. We experience it. There are so many times when I know one of you has had surgery, lost a loved one, or had a rough week in some way, and I can't even make it over to talk to you because as soon as you walk in the door, you are greeted and hugged and comforted. I hope that you all experience that when you need it. After going through a horrible week, one of you described it in this way “I came in these doors, and I knew I could let go. I didn't have to be strong anymore.” That’s part of why it’s called a “sanctuary”- it’s a place we can go to be safe, to rest, to retreat.

That’s why I am a pastor, why I chose to stand here in this pulpit instead of anywhere else. Because there is a lot of pain in this world, but here is where I find my comfort and my joy. Here is where I find my hope and strength.

I find these things in a baby born in a world that had no room for him. I hear good news of great joy proclaimed to a bunch of dirty, sleepy, smelly guys hanging out with sheep. And when I hear this good news of great joy, I am filled with that joy. I am inspired, full of hope and I know what God wants- that this broken world to be healed by his love. God wanted that so much that God was born into this world to show us that love. Tonight we celebrate that good news first told to the shepherds.

But the shepherds didn’t realize what was happening at first. They were scared. “Do not be afraid” the angel said. “LOOK!” she continues. She has to tell them to look- because the first thing we want to do when we feel afraid is to run away and hide. Fear locks us up in a small room, like a jail cell. There is no fresh air, and no light. We can't see things for what they are, since we have curled up, we can't move. When we're in the darkness of fear, everything seems to stop.

But the shepherds do not need to fear because this time, there is light. This time, God is bringing good news of great joy. There is no more judgment. There is no more waiting for the savior God promised to send. No more hiding from God's glory in a cliff like Moses did. No more only seeing God’s “backside.” God is here in the flesh, God is here to save us. God came to save everyone of us, right down to those guys out in the field with their sheep. I mean, everyone. That means me, that means you, that lady sitting next to you, and yes- even the mean guy in line at panera!

In fact, the angel says “You” or implies it 6 times in her short speech. YOU- do not fear. I am bringing YOU good news of great joy. To YOU is born a savior...God came for US because God couldn’t wait any longer.

And when the shepherds finally heard the good news of great joy of Jesus' birth, they couldn't wait. Not one second. They had to go, RIGHT AWAY, to see this with their own eyes. They said, “Let us go NOW to Bethlehem to see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to US.”

The shepherds are the first to hear and the first to see GOD is HERE! Jesus is born and the promises we heard about in the reading from Isaiah are fulfilled. Our burdens are lightened. The things that oppress us, that weigh us down no longer have control over us. They exist, but not forever. There is still darkness, but there is also light. There is still bad news each night, but there is also good news of great joy. Because a child has been born, a savior, god in the flesh. When the cry of the baby Jesus pierced through the air, the sky was ripped apart to make room for angels singing, the glory of the Lord, and peace to all whom God loves.

This is the beginning of the good news of great joy. This baby is the one we have been waiting for- the one who gave sight to the blind, healed the sick, and proclaimed that those who mourn will be comforted, the poor are rich, and that in death there is LIFE. He is the way, the truth and the life.

In this world of technology it can be easier to stay connected with each other, but an e-mail or a letter can never replace being in the presence of one that you love. There is nothing in the world like being hugged by my mom, knowing that those arms held me as a baby and still reach out to me with unconditional love today.

At Christmas, we can remember that God loved us so much he didn't just want to send us chain letters and tablets of stone. He wanted to be one of us. He wanted to welcome the little children into his arms, to touch the eyes of the blind man to heal him, to talk with us and eat with us. He wanted to be close to us so that we could be close to him.

We wait each year to celebrate Christ’s birth, and we wait for him to come again. As we wait, we have the good news to not just hear but to live. We have neighbors to be Christ’s hands reaching out to us. We have the water of baptism to refresh us, we have the bread and wine to feed us. We have good news of great joy to bring us peace. We have OUR shepherd, Jesus, to lead us. And as Mary treasured these words and pondered them in her heart, so do we. Amen.

Rejoicing

2007-12-18T11:44:00.000-08:00

What makes you rejoice about:

1) Waiting: Sometimes the waiting can be more fun than the actual experience. As one who tends to build things up in her head, waiting and dreaming can be the best part. I like to dream of taking trips, but when it comes down to it, sometime I'd rather just stay at home. Traveling can be stressful. Also, I love to wait because anticipation is so exciting! My family opened presents on Christmas Eve, and the excitement of that day was incredible!

2) Darkness: To me, darkness is a time people return home from a long day to be alone or be with their families. It's a time of coziness, of safety, and hopefully rest. It's a time to re-create ourselves and to look back on our day with thanks.

3) Winter: A fresh snow is always gorgeous, as long as the roads are safe or I have no where to go. On a warmer day like today, I love to take a deep breath- I love the small of fresh air mixed with snow. And sometimes I'm able to rejoice that the earth is resting, holding seeds and bulbs deep in the soil so that they can bloom when all the snow melts. The earth needs a sabbath too!

4) Advent: Christmas lights, Advent wreaths, in general all the decorations that make this time of the year special. Remembering again the birth of Christ and thinking about how I can personally prepare myself and the world for this gift.

5) Jesus coming: um, I could write a book for this section! Listen to my sermons for the answers!

What about these things makes you rejoice?

God's Presence

2007-12-06T07:46:00.000-08:00

In Whom We Live and Move and Have Our Being
Denise Levertov

Birds afloat in air's current,
sacred breath? No, not breath of God,
it seems, but God
the air enveloping the whole globe of being.
It's we who breathe, in, out, in the sacred,
Leaves astir, our wings
rising, ruffled- but only the saints
take flight. We cower
in cliff-crevice or edge out gingerly
on branches close to the nest. The wind
marks the passage of holy ones riding
the ocean of air. Slowly their wake
reaches us, rocks us.
But storm or still,
Numb or poised in attention,
we inhale, exhale, inhale,
encompassed, encompassed.

This is one of my favorite poems. I first read it in a book a friend put together for me before I studied abroad for a semester in college. I guess I like it because I have always been fascinated by the wind- how you can feel it and hear it (or at least the sound it causes whatever it blows by to make) but you can't see it.

This poem was a comfort to me when I was living in another country and nothing was familiar. Remembering that God was with me, as close as the air I breathe, was so helpful. Being "encompassed" by God with each breath, letting the Spirit (also translated as "breath" in Hebrew) come into our bodies...thinking of our relationship with God in this way puts things in a new light. Rather than God being someone we call out to from another place, God is a presence as near to us as air. God is here whether we recognize it or not, supporting us, filling us, and moving us in ways we can't see but we can feel.

What is the Spirit doing in your life these days? Is it a light breeze, a strong gust, warm, cold...how is God present for you?

Seasons of Life

2007-11-26T08:49:00.000-08:00

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time for war, and a time for peace.

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

I have been thinking about these words the last few days. As the seasons change, I already find myself longing for summer. But now is not that time- now is the time for the earth to rest. I tend to be one who always looks on the bright side and has a hard time staying in the darkness. But the darkness, even though it is hard to endure, makes the light even more precious and beautiful. I still wish it was summer though!

As we as Christians start to prepare for the birth of Jesus the Messiah, I am beginning to plan for Lent, the time when we prepare for Jesus death. A time to be born, a time to die. And as my community mourns the tragic loss of young life, I weep and wait for the laughter to come. In the bible it also says, "weeping may spend the night, but joy comes in the morning." (I think it's in Isaiah, or Psalms)

It's getting dark outside my window as I type this (it's 4:13 pm). I hate when it gets dark early! But there is a beautiful pink sky, and there are kids playing in the grass outside my window. In the darkness and in the cold, beauty is still found. In our grief, we can still find joy. Our tears can lead to laughter. And, because of the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus, there is life again after death.

I pray that you seek whatever it is you have lost. I pray that you plant and nourish seeds of faith and that you reap the benefits of spiritual fruit. I pray that your tears of mourning turn into tears of joy. I pray that we all have challenges, but also the strength and the support to endure them. I pray for a time of peace.

Unexpected Joy

2007-11-19T07:41:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was a very busy day. Of course there was church in the morning, but before church the fire alarm went off in my building, so that added an extra splash of excitement. We had communion during the service which I always enjoy because 1) I love receiving communion and 2) I love giving communion! I am always so amazed as I look at each of you and say "The Body of Christ, given for you"- I think about God looking at each of you and how much God loves you and how important each and every one of us is to God, and I'm amazed!

High School class inbetween services was fun- we learned about Esther (check out the book in the Old Testament- it's pretty short) by watching VeggieTales and talking about courage. Lots of goofiness and chatter abounded as usual.

As I wrote in my last blog, there are lots of heavy things going on with many people here at Grace. I felt that heaviness again on Sunday, but was again amazed to see how the people of Grace care for each other in these times.

In the afternoon I had my 9th Grade confirmation students, who always keep me on my toes! So many questions, so much energy, and lots of pushing boundaries. There are some really great thinkers in that group.

Then I ran from that to the Seder Dinner with the First Communion students and their families. Wow! That was a really cool experience. The Seder Dinner is also known as the Passover Meal- the same meal that Jesus shared with his disciples on the night before his death, the basis for communion. This is quite a production and all the families pitched in to make it a success.

I was expecting to be exhausted at the end of the day, but instead when I got into my car to go home after a 12 hour day, I was filled with joy. The kind of joy that I know has to come from God because it's not anything I can ever feel of my own accord. It bubbled up unexpectedly and I was giddy all night. Yeah, I did go to bed early, but with a smile on my face and so much thanks in my heart for the God who gave me this joy, who gives us the blessings of his body and blood, and awesome people of all ages in this congregation who love God and want to learn and grow in their faith.

When are times you have felt that unexpected joy? Have you ever felt that God is with you? What did that feel like? What were you doing?

Hard Times

2007-11-14T07:16:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to decide all day what to write about. I've been looking through some of my favorite books for inspiration. I didn't find anything that struck me today. But here's what's on my mind...

I'm thinking about the people at Grace. There are so many wonderful people here. I've gotten to know some of you, but I am still learning names. Sunday mornings fly by with so much going on, there's never enough time to talk. I hope you know you are always welcome to make an appointment to come and talk with me. And I'm happy to meet you somewhere too- for a walk or coffee or a trip to the dog park! People (aka YOU) are the reason I wanted to be a pastor in the first place- because I love sharing the love of God with you. It is such a joy and a privilege to be able to do that finally- after all those years of seminary! :)

One of the hard parts about loving people is that when they hurt, you hurt. There are a lot of people at Grace right now going through some heart-breaking hurts. I don't know why these things happen. There are certainly no easy answers.

But one thing I really do believe is that God takes all the bad things that happen in our lives and somehow makes something good out of them. I don't think I believe that God causes these things to happen, but I do think that whatever good comes out of them comes from God. It can be so hard to see God working in the midst of our tragedies, but if God is who he says he is, God will be there- shining a light in the darkness, making the crooked paths straight, and bringing life out of death.

The Bible can be a great companion- reading the Psalms is a great help to me when I'm angry and sad. They contain some wrenching, honest cries to God as well as praises. (Psalms 22, 46 and 61 are good examples). I leave you with some words from Romans 8, and a prayer for God's presence in your times of joy and pain.

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saint according to the will of God. We know that all things work together for good, for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose..."

Friday Five: FOOD!

2007-11-02T08:39:00.001-07:00

hello again folks...

i stumbled on a blog this past summer that is for women clergy. it's pretty interesting and has been helpful as i've been in this new job. they have online discussions about texts and other things that come up in this line of work. one thing they do is post the "friday five"- questions on a different topic every week. so, without further ado...here they are, along with my answers!

If you were a food, what would you be?
I think I would be coffee. I know that's not really a food, but to some of us it is! Like coffee, I can adapt to different situations. I can be perky or perk-less. mmmm....i think i need to go find a caffeinated cup of myself right now!

What is one of the most memorable meals you ever had? And where?
Probably the dinner at my sister's wedding. It was at an Italian chophouse and it was a HUGE meal. Plus it was a wonderful occassion to celebrate!

What is your favorite comfort food from childhood?
Tuna-and-Noodle Cassarole! I didn't like any of the ingredients individually (tuna, onions, green pepper, mayo, mustard...ick) but together- mmm boy!

When going to a church potluck, what one recipe from your kitchen is sure to be a hit?
I can make this really yummy artichoke/cheesy spread for bread or crackers. I made it for a party once and this guy stood by it the whole night eating it. This post is making me really hungry...

What’s the strangest thing you ever willingly ate?
Well my brother used to be a chef in fancy restaurants so I've eaten lots of crazy things! I think it would be better to say one thing I did NOT willingly eat was lutefisk. ...

First Entry!!!

2007-11-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

Hello! Welcome to Pastor Heidi's blog! I hope this will be a good way to create new thoughts and discussion about God, faith, life, coffee...wherever the spirit leads. If you register for an account with blogger.com you can respond to my entries. I have done this for other blogs and it's pretty simple to do. It doesn't mean you need to blog yourself- so don't worry if you don't blog.

That all being said, I'll get down to what I really wanted to say. When I was in college, I received a scholarship from the Fund for Theological Education. Part of receiving this scholarship was a requirement that we attend a conference in the summer. I was not too excited about this because I didn't know anyone else who would be going to the conference. (Now this was ironic because when I received the scholarship I was studying abroad and was travelling around Europe by myself. Funny.) But I went and it turned out to be a life-changing experience. It was at this conference that I really began to embrace the vocation I felt drawn to- ministry.

At the conference I lent a book to someone who promised to return it. Yeah, right. Well, oddly enough, that book found it's way back into my hands last week. 6 years later! It was such a nice surprise, like bumping into an old friend. This book had been with me as I traveled Europe and was a great source of comfort when I often felt so alone. I am starting to re-read it, and I came across a passage that was particularly dear to me...

You are at my side, dear friends, and God is everywhere. Yet ultimately we are alone, making our way home by the candle of the heart. The light is steady and sure but extends only far enough to see the next step. That there are steps beyond is a matter of faith. That we have the faith to endure and walk our own journey- even when we think we are lost- is a gift of grace, and of friendship. Many times our light seems to go out. But another light, one held by a stranger or a friend, a book or a song, a blackbird or a wildflower, comes close enough so that we can see our path by its light. And in time we realize that the light we have borrowed was always also our own. ~ A Woman's Journey to God, Joan Borysenko.

I do believe that God is everywhere. The Psalmist wrote "Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast." (139)

God was with me as I traveled. God was with me at the conference. God was with me in Chicago during seminary, and God is with me here. It can be terribly hard to see God when we get tired and our light fades. But I pray that we remember to look around for what will sustain us in those times- a friend, a book, a bible verse, our church family, or a connection with nature or a pet- because God will show up, often in surprising places. Where do you find God? Have you ever been surpised?

It is so true that we can't see further than a few steps ahead in our journey through life. Something terrible or wonderful may be around the corner. But know that God is with you through it all and that you are not alone. I hope this blog will be a source of light for you as you walk the road of life and of faith. As my favorite writer, Anne Lamott says, "Traveling Mercies: love the journey, God is with you, come home safe and sound."